Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Everyone has them. Everyone wants to be the best friend they can possible be. No one wants to be a bad friend. But what happens when you think you're a good friend, and aren't?

2010 was a blessed and rough year for me. I found out I was having Ryan in March. What a surprise and a blessing! Having already had Jack I knew what I needed to do. He wasn't planned and I was scared. I hadn't known Brannan that long and was worried about raising 2 children. When I met Brannan I had hit the Jack pot. That man was meant to be a father. He was so wonderful and good with Jack. Always wanting to play and help when things got tough. More than willing to step in and help with potty training. More than happy to do bath time and read bed time stories. To hold his hand when he was scared or hurt. And that has not changed since Ryan was born. Our family was so supportive and have treated Jack as their own from the beginning. I am more than blessed.

Not all my friends were as thrilled. Jack's godmother, one of my best friends, was not happy. Why did you get pregnant again? You don't know this man! There are other options besides keeping him. How are you going to raise 2 children? You're just a waitress! How will you support 2 children?! 

Needless to say I was beyond crushed. I was so hurt. And I said things out of anger that I shouldn't have. I told her Jack no longer had a God mother. Should I have said that? No. Speaking out of hurt and anger doesn't make the situation better. I hurt her too. About a week or so later we both apologized. Our friendship was rocky. It was awkward. Some things you can't take back no matter how sorry you are. A few months later Brannan said he was still hurt by the things she said and she owed him an apology. He was right. Her words had hurt him too. She didn't know him. She judged to quickly. When I told her she needed to apologize she said I thought we agreed that this was all a misunderstanding. 

Wait a minute! If you apologized because you thought out argument was a misunderstanding, then we are not ok! I couldn't believe it. I specifically apologized for my words that I said to her. And she saw nothing wrong with the words she said to me. 

We didn't speak for a while. She didn't come to my baby shower. She called me after I gave birth to Ryan and I accidentally hit answer instead of ignore. I told her I would call her back and I didn't. I spent the next 2 months fascinated over my boys. I was so in love. I had children. 2 perfectly healthy boys who adored each other. At the end of January I finally sent her a message. I apologized for the things I said to her and expressed how her words hurt me. I know she was just trying to be my friend and look out for me, but her words cut deep and where expressed in the wrong way. 

I never got a response. It's been over 2 years since we've spoken. 

When planning my wedding I asked a mutual friend, who I've known since I was 10 to be a bridesmaid. Things were going well. She ordered her bridesmaid dress late and when it came in, it didn't fit. Like zipper broken didn't fit. Once it was fixed she came over to try it on. It would not zip. 

I am not one to judge someones weight. I weigh the same as I did when I gave birth to Ryan and had to order a size 26 wedding dress. That's my issue, no one elses. And for some reason they make formal dresses smaller so you have to order a larger size. Who the eff came up with that?! I mean really!

I called David's Bridal and asked if they had a larger size or could order it in time. They said they could. I told my friend who told me not to worry, it would be taken care of. She came over 8 days before the wedding and tried it on. She wouldn't do it in front of me. She told me her and her mom would figure something out. And that's when it got ugly. I'll spare you the details but it involved me chasing after her and having a screaming match in the street and buying the dress from her.

I feel so horrible about the whole situation. I wish things would have turned out different. She went to an engagement party for the friend above and told everyone that I kicked her out of my wedding and called her a fat cow. That is not true. I would never do that. Ever. All I asked of my bridesmaids was that they look pretty. I wanted them to feel and look good. 

Imagine my surprise when my old friend shook up for me. She said I would never say that. She knows my heart. I haven't changed so much that I've become a cold, heartless bitch. Even though we don't speak anymore I am so happy to hear she still knows me. 

I guess the point of this post is to get this off my chest. It's weighed heavily on my heart. I feel like I used to have so many friends and now have none. It makes me wonder what am I doing wrong? How can I be a better friend? My oldest friend Danielle keeps saying she's going to invite us all to the same place, not tell us and make us work it out. It doesn't sound half bad :)

Monday, January 28, 2013

SAG Awards!

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend. Ryan is sick and I can feel the sickness trying to make its way into my body. I refuse to get sick!

Today's post is a little different. Today were talking fashion. SAG award fashion. Once upon a time, before I was a Mama, I wanted to be a fashion designer. Life had other plans for me but I still think I'm qualified to judge award season dresses. Call me Joan, I got you!

First up:

Viola Davis!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this color! It's so bright and happy. The style of her dress is one I was looking at for my bridesmaids. I think it looks great on her and I love her earrings.

Jordin Sparks!

Va va voom! Girlfriends is workin' it! Love the color and fit. Wish she would have stepped up the bling. Some chandelier earrings would have been perfect.

Jane Krakowski.

No. No. No. No. The color is so awful on her! She looks like she's wearing a sack. Her hair looks great though.

Helen Hunt!

I was watching Twister on Friday night and was wondering what she's been up to. I'm on the fence with this. I feel like the dress is a little young for her and I hate her necklace. She looks great, so relaxed and happy.

Ellie Kemper!

AMAZING! I love the gown I love the color! I love the hair! Perfection!

Amy Poehler!

She looks phenomenal! There's nothing I don't love about this.

Tina Fey!

Same as above. She looks lovely.

Anne Hathaway!

Is it just me or is she hiding a baby bump?

Amanda Seyfried!

My winner! I think she looks beyond amazing. Absolute perfection!

I skipped alot of looks because alot of people showed up wearing drapes and table clothes. Seriously.

Who do you think was best dressed?

Monday, January 21, 2013

What I feed a picky eater.

Ryan turned 2 in August. As a baby he was a good eater. I tried and tried to breastfeed but sadly was unsuccessful. He did great with formula and did good with fruit baby food. Once we started him on solid food things changed. He wanted no part in vegetables, meat or protein. This means no eggs, avocado, quinoa. Nothing. 

Luckily, he loves PediaSure. He would have 1 a day, half at breakfast, half at dinner. His doctor isn't a fan, he said since it has so many calories, he'll be full and won't eat, making it hard to get him used to eating.

I found these at Target and that kid will gobble them up! Thank goodness! The only downside is they're $3+. Not very budget friendly.

We were at a friends house and she had freeze dried mango, Ryan will eat this by the bag. They sell this at Target but it's thinner slices and more prices. The Trader Joe's brand is more like steak fries and at a better price. He also loves the freeze dried strawberries.

Again he'll eat this up. Obviously, raspberries are the bomb.com

Were still working on getting him to eat actual vegetables. So in the mean time we use Veggie Pasta or Quinoa pasta. You can't tell the difference and it's a sneaky way to get him to eat healthy. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Happy MLK Day!!

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