Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Who am I?


I started out as a daughter, granddaughter, niece  then god child. 


A year and a half later I was a sister.



 10 years after that I became and aunt. 


10 years after that, I became a Mama. 

With Jack.

With Ryan.

3 years after that, I became a wife, daughter in law and sister in law.


With my inlaws this past weekend.

My whole life, I've struggled with who I am. I never knew what I wanted to be. Who I wanted to be. My father left when I was 3. My parents had gotten divorced and he just stopped showing up for his weekends. It's hard growing up not knowing who you are. Where you came from. My mom received a letter from my father's old union a few weeks ago. They found out he had passed away. To say I've had a difficult time with this is an understatement. 

I never knew him. I never knew his family. And now, it's too late. I've done a little digging on where he had been living. Any contact info has been disconnected or a dead end. Nothing on Facebook or Google. I'm the daughter of a ghost. 

As frustrating as it's been and as many unanswered questions I have. It's better this way. I'm not his daughter. I belong to my Mother and her husband who adopted me and my brother. I get to define me without him. Without him tainting anything I'm trying to accomplish.  

So who am I?

I'm Angelina. Mother, wife, badass, creep, sister, friend, chef, laundress, maid, nurse, belly scratcher, booger picker, HAPPY.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Dear Santa,

I've been a semi-good girl this year! I'll try harder next year. Maybe not say fuck so much. I hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving. Ours was low key, we watched the parade, took a nap and ate at my moms house. After dinner, my mom and I went to see Mockingjay. IT WAS AMAZING!!! GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW! 

meow.

I thought I'd share some things on my wish list this year. When I was younger and childless, I wanted purses, shoes, whatever. Now that i'm a mom, I would love a macaroni card. Ryan asked me what I wanted for Christmas last night and I said a nice picture of you and Jack. He then told me he wasted a big hug from me for Christmas. And I died. Melted into a puddle of love. That sweet boy.


I am DYING to recover some old chairs in fun funky prints! I saw 2 mustard yellow velvety chairs at The Frisco Mercantile and have been obsessed ever since! 


Because they're pretty.


Because I plan on signing the boys up for soccer and there's no way I'm doing that shit sober. 


I want to get 2 additional bands of the boys birth stones. Why? Because I pushed for 3 straight hours with Jack, and I had no drugs with Ryan because he decided to summersault out. And because I still deal with poop that isn't mine.

I'll also accept cash, rubies and tacos. 

Happy Teller Tuesday!




Monday, December 1, 2014

4.



Dear Ryan,

Today, you are 4 years old. You are such a joy! Every morning you wake up, ready to conquer the day. You sneak into whatever room I'm in and scream BOO! You ask for spaghetti and lollipops for breakfast, but settle for oatmeal or a breakfast burrito. I can barely get a proper hug at drop off! You're so excited to start your day. But you're always happy to see me at pickup. You're the best helper, when it comes to get the mail, feeding Cole, or helping me cook. 




You refuse to take No for an answer. You always find a way to get what you want. You love to copy big brother. And are the best dancer and singer. You're an amazing swimmer. My little fishy! You love to help Daddy! You're his little workman. 


And know for your birth story:

On December 1,2010 I was running errands like a crazy woman. My best friend was leaving the next day to move to Oregon and I was hosting her farewell dinner. B got home around 2:00 and about 30 minutes later, I had the worst contraction ever. it passed and about a minute later, another one hit. Then another, then another. And as they were coming, I still tried to set the table. Finally, I screamed so damn loud B came running into the kitchen and was like we need to go!!!

Jack was 5 days late and I was so sure, Ryan would be late too. We drove to the hospital, which was about 10 minutes away with B running every light. I called Leah, who works on the L&D floor to have her tell her coworkers I was coming. I called my Dr, who instructed me to come to the office. UMM no. I'm going to the hospital across the street. Join me, yes?

B tried his hardest to get me in a wheel chair but I wouldn't do it. I can't explain it, but I just had to keep moving, even if that meant pacing. I could not stop. I managed to terrify the women in the elevator with us and screamed for help once we got to the L&D floor. They got me in a bed and told me NOT TO PUSH. Good thing I don't listen. I pushed and POP! There went my water. An IV was placed in my arm, my Dr came in and 5 minutes later, he was here!

I only yelled at B once, to get off the phone with my mom and stay by my head. A minute after he was born, my parents came in with Jack. 


We had a great stay in the hospital and were home the next night because I hate hospitals and just wanted to be home with our stuff. 

Ryan,

I love you more than words could ever say. You're so sweet and kind. I love watching you grow into the person you're going to become. Keep the pimp hand strong little one.

I love you the world,
Mama.


















Saturday, November 22, 2014

Thankful.


I just cleaned and vacuumed and sanitized the backseat of the truck. This little cutie decided to puke all over it. Ryan's defense mechanism, is to vomit. It's really a lot of fun.

And you know what? I'm thankful. When Jack was 3 months old, he had surgery on his feet. He was born with club feet and is now 100%. On the day of his surgery, I saw a boy, about 8 or so, in diapers. His mother still had to change him. And ever since that day I've never once complained about blow outs, puke, being peed on. I'm so beyond thankful that my boys are healthy. I'll clean up puke any day.

Friday, October 10, 2014

It has been many weeks since my last confession...


Hi ya'll! Happy Friday!

Let's get into it!

I confess:

I've been thinking about baby #3 all day long!!! It'll never happen for a million reasons, but I can't stop thinking of her or him.

I can't wait for cooler weather. This is nothing new. I hate the heat. But really, I've got my flannels all ready to go. Come on cold and rain!

My brother is coming to visit in 2 weeks and I can't wait! I haven't seen him in a year and it's going to be a great trip! The kids don't know he's coming, so it'll be extra special when he comes.

No one knows what they want to be for Halloween. I really, really, really don't want to buy costumes this year. They're so cheap and flimsy and cost a fortune! Maybe my mom and MIL can sew some up…

and lastly, 

I am obsessed! with Shit Southern Woman say! Oh my word! They are funny!

Happy Friday! Cheers to the weekend!


Lately...

Life has been a circus! School started at the end of August, I went back to work at the beginning of August. Let me tell you, working and taking care of 3 kids and a man child, husband, is not easy! I'm loving it though! Always on the go, never a dull moment! It's so nice to be at work and not be asked for a snack 6 times an hour. No yelling. No fighting. I get to eat my lunch in peace, on a couch, watching crap TV. Who knew getting a job would give me a much needed break?!

I could just eat them up!

Jack turned 7 the day after school started. I cried all week. Over night he's lost his baby face and looks more and more like a boy. I know everyone says it but, I wish I could stop the clock. Just keep them little for a tiny bit longer. Jack likes to stash his dirty socks. Under the bed, dining room table or couch. When he was smaller he would put his Legos in them. It's so gross. It drives me crazy that he can't just put them in the hamper. But tomorrow I'll wake up and his wife will be complaining about it. :(

Labor Day weekend, the kids went with Grandma to Houston. They got back on Monday and I got the text no mother wants. 

CALL ME!!!!! 911!!!!!!

OH.MY.GOD. The kids made it home safe and had just finished dinner when Ryan thought it would be a good idea to roll off the back of the couch.

                        

 I met my husband and Ryan at our local hospital, after a quick X-ray Ryan and I were taken in an ambulance to Children's Hospital in Dallas. He has surgery the next morning to have 3 pins put in. I can't even begin to explain the panic we were both in. We've talked about this day since Ryan was born. He's all boy. Rough, wild and energetic. But when it actually happened, we were both hysterical. Crying like crazy. I've broken both my arms, at separate times, when I was little. But never had to have surgery, just a pretty pink cast and a lollipop and I was on my way. 


He spent 2 nights at the hospital and then came home. Everyone was so nice and kid to Ryan but I couldn't wait to leave. I feel so silly crying so hard about a broken arm, when there are children in that hospital who will never go home. 

                       

His cast and pins were removed after 2 weeks. Next week he'll be back at recess! He can't wait!

I hope everyone had a great summer and school is going great! Thanks for sticking with me!





Monday, June 16, 2014

summer feet.

Summer is here! There is no excuse for gross feet. You can skate by in winter but it's sandal weather, time to take care of your tootsies. 

"But Angel, I don't had time for a pedicure! What Do I do?!"

Well, I'll tell you what to do.

 Freeman Beauty Spa professional. I was contacted by influenster to review this product and am so glad I did. After finally tracking it down at WalMart, I made a spa night of it on Saturday. 


First Impressions:

The packaging is so upscale compared to their other products!

I love the color! I know that's silly, but oh well. Such a pretty mermaid blue. 

I was surprised by the consistency. I thought it would be more of a scrub. (this could also be because I don't know my beauty terms.) It was more like soap with a little bit of sand mixed in.

The smell. Nope. Not liking it. It smells like chemically, hair conditioner with a floral(?) coverup. Not the business. 

I tried to take a cute artsy picture and my smiley face looks like  serial killer.


Usage:

It's easy to use, rub all over your feet, rinse off.  Use twice weekly, or as needed.

The Verdict:

The jury is out. I'm not crazy about the smell, but my feet are soft. I don't feel like this product would take the place of a pedicure, but it's good for in between trips to the nail salon. I'll keep using and update when the bottle is empty. 

Happy Monday! Let's make it a great week!




Friday, June 13, 2014

We made it!

Hallelujah! It's Friday! I'm so happy to see you!

Don't you judge me!

Once again I'll be linking up with Leslie.




I confess if I don't get my feet in these boots IMMEDIATELY! I'll die!

I'm not really a shoe gal anymore but these speak to my heart!

I confess VBS starts next week and I could not be more thrilled! I wish it lasted all summer. 

I confess I have nothing planned for Fathers Day. Other than to curb the bitch attitude and let him think he's right all day long. 

I confess my parents are in California and I am so jealous! We moved a year ago and I'm so homesick.

I confess I haven't shaved my legs in a week and possibly scared all the other moms at the pool. Don't worry, I'm shaving tonight. (spiky legs are my favorite form of birth control)

Happy Friday! I hope ya'll have the best weekend! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram & Twitter!






Thursday, June 12, 2014

one year.

One year ago today, my mom's best friend picked up me, my mom and the boys and drove us to the airport. Weeks prior to this moment, I had packed up our entire life. Clothes, toys, kitchen wares. The house we lived in was my grandparents. They bought the house in 1950. No one but our family had lived there. Until now. Now a new family would be moving in and making memories. A new family would decorate, plant their own garden and ignore my tiny handprints in the cement outside by the hose. Would they be happy? Would they be kind to one another?


I cried twice while packing. Not because I was moving, but because I was leaving my home. 617 Hemlock was my safe place. It's where I grew up. Where my boys grew up. All my childhood memories took place in the house. 

B, the boys and I lived downstairs. My brother lived upstairs. We've lived together my whole life. The thought of him being more than a yell away, broke my heart. 

I spent a few weeks packing up our home while it was getting a much needed face lift, new carpet and paint, new kitchen. Then we moved in with my mom for a month so Jack could finish school.

B had left a few days before to drive the truck out with his guns, mom flew out with us so she could house hunt with my dad. I put our carry ons in the car and lost my shit on the front porch. My best friend had come by multiple times to say goodbye and cry with me and because I have a heart made of stone, I didn't cry. Not.One.Tear. #restingbitchface

But here I was on my porch sobbing uncontrollably. Every feeling I'd been ignoring or putting aside, came to surface. How in the world would I, a flower child, survive in Texas? How would I survive without Karl the fog? Would people be nice? Would I get lost? How far is the beach or a mountain?

I cried the entire way to the airport, I cried checking our bags when jerk face mcgee told me my bag was 4lbs over and he was going to charge me $100! I cried when the burger king line was super long and the kids started whining. I cried when they gave away our seats on the plane and tried to put Jack a few rows ahead of me. I cried when the sweet last sitting next to us hopped right out of her seat and switched with Jack, no questions asked. 

During take off I looked at Sign Hill one last time.


I prayed and cried the whole way that we had made the right choice. That we would be happy in Texas. I cried the whole car ride to my Mother in Laws. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know the highways. I didn't know the stores. I didn't understand why the churches were bigger than Target. The next day I went to Walmart and got lost 3 times on the way home. In our first week I had a panic attack when it started raining and hailing, I thought for sure it was a tornado. 

It's been a year and I know my way around better. I finally made some friends. No one I could call crying, but still. I'm hoping to travel more out of the DFW area within the next year. I'm dying to go to Austin.

It's been an interesting year. Buying a home and getting our footing. Seeing the boys play in their backyard, lets me know we made the right choice.








rainy day.

I've had this post open all day. Not sure what I want to write about. It's 70 outside with rain(yay!) and thunderstorms. Were having a lazy day. We can't swim because of the weather, everyone and their mother will be at the indoor playgrounds and I'm in no mood to clean up mud, so there will be no puddle jumping. Instead there's lots of Legos and cartoons. #momfail

I've been researching budgets and cheap meals all morning. I've come to the conclusion that chicken will be eaten at every meal and my hopes and dreams of going organic will be put on hold indefinitely. I've beaten 3 levels of candy crush and am attempting to watch Penny Dreadful. I love Eva Green. She is perfection. I love horror movies/shows. It's just difficult to watch when the kids are around. They don't need to see the vampire lair. I didn't need to see the vampire lair.

I'm hoping once B gets home to sneak out. Not sure to where. Maybe Kroger. Probably Walmart or Target. I'm sure we need something :)

I think it's time I got up and was productive. I'll have more exciting posts coming this week up. A product review and a recap of our first year in Texas.

I hope ya'll had a great day and thank you for sticking with me :)

Monday, June 9, 2014

Summer is here!

Hi all! I hope you had a wonderful weekend! School got out on Friday and we spent about 5 hours at the pool for a sweet friends birthday party. The kids had a blast. I got to meet some new mommy friends. After bath time, they were all asleep within 5 minutes! Too bad I was to exhausted to do anything but eat a pop tart and watch reruns of Parks & Rec. #treatyoself

Saturday the boys got haircuts, thanks to Uncle Brian. I should have taken pictures but I'm so attached to their hair. I just hid inside. If I had my way, there hair would never be cut and they'd all look like little Willie Nelson's. We ended up at my moms pool, because going in a pool that 100 kids swam in yesterday is no bueno. (seriously ask me how many time I saw a kid use the bathroom? gross.) Grandma came over after dinner time and left with all 3 kiddos. We watched Grudge Match. It was pretty good. I wouldn't pay to see it in theaters but still funny.

Sunday was a lazy day. I slept in until 10AM! It was so beautiful I didn't want it to end. So later that afternoon I took a nap. We bbqed burgers for dinner and watched Ninjagos. Later that night I stayed up way past my bedtime, talking with my oldest and dearest friend Danielle.


Costume party 2005!

It's been so hard to get anyone from California on the phone for more than 5 minutes. When I'm up for the day, everyone in CA is just waking up, and when they're winding down from dinner and getting off work, I'm in bed. AGH!!!!

Today I'm hosting a playmate for about 20 children. However, theres is a HUGE thunderstorm going on since last night. I've never heard anything like it! The good news is it's raining! Were in the middle of a stage 3 drought, the rain is much needed. We'll be making Father's Day presents today!

             
How cute are these?! I should probably be cleaning, but I'm trying to watch Dr.Who (I'm so lost!) and the kids are still asleep. Awwwww peace :)

How was your weekend? What did you do? 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Clothes I wish my husband would wear :)


Raise your hand if you love your husband! Raise your hand if his closet could use some help!


B owns this shirt. He also owns it in blue. I'm dying to do a couples Halloween costume.  #krullthewarriorking

B has a uniform for work so when he gets home, he like to be comfortable, like me. Basketball shorts and white tees. On the weekends it's jeans and t-shirts. 

     

What can I say? He cleans up good :)



Bonobos contacted me about their new Garment dyed chinos.  Bonobos is focused on delivering a great fit in clothing. New York Magazine named them Best Men's Pants and they're the largest apparel company built on the web in the US. I checked out their website, once of their job titles is Ninja. I love them already!

Oh man. B would look so good in them!


The color! The fit! The Chino-ness! Oh my! I love them! They are perfect for date night, running errands, or work. I'm literally putting outfits together in my head as I type. They come in 5 beautiful colors which can transition between the seasons and 2 fits, slim straight and slim tailored.            

Below I put what I would pair the pants with. All the tops are simple and classic, for work or play. I stuck with blue and white because that's what B looks best in :) (I also added his signature shoes) 

dressing up B!




I love these pants, I can't wait to see B in them :) I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! While your out shopping this weekend make sure you pop into Nordstroms and check them out!

What do you wish you hubs would wear?





*All opinions are my own. Thank you Bonobos for contacting me. I had fun with this post!

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